Breaking up is never an easy experience for both parties (both the initiator and the dumped).
While popularly, the dumped party always tends to respect the wishes of their ex, some others find it difficult letting go.
These ‘die-hard’ exes will often go to lengths like persuading the other party to continue the relationship, stalking, or even becoming aggressive towards them by making threats, carrying out emotional or physical abuse.
The root course of this ‘over-attachment’ is often their denial of reality or fear of the unknown: having to be lonely and the uncertainty of meeting someone new with whom they can form a bond with.
While one cannot choose the kind of ex they’ll get, these five steps will help in handling an ex who doesn’t want to let go:
Be firm with your decision
Make sure to clearly define why you’re breaking up with this person because it is the clarity of the situation that can determine how to relay this information to them and stick to your words.
It might seem that the more mature thing to do is stay in communication with an ex but that isn’t true. Keeping in touch with an ex defeats the purpose of a break up.
Momentarily breaking off communication with an ex is recommended in order to really face being alone and focusing on healing for both parties involved.
There are no rules saying exes cannot get back together but then again, that is the role of taking a break in relationships.
Never feel guilty
The biggest mistake individuals going through a break up make is guilt-tripping themselves.
Remember that before anything else, you’re human and it is in your nature to make mistakes.
Whether or not breaking up with your ex was a mistake or the right thing to do, choking yourself with guilt will do neither of you any good.
Move on with life no matter how hard it hurts.
Never bear grudges
In addition to freeing yourself from guilt, it is important not to bear grudges towards an ex.
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was the relationship sucked, both of you are humans. And as we’ve established earlier, people make mistakes.
Forgive, try and learn from the experiences you shared with this person as you go on with living.
Report threats, abuse or any form of violence
When dealing with a stalking, aggressive or abusive ex, make sure to report any threats, acts of violence or abuse they might try or actually inflict on you.
Make reports to the right authorities as well as letting your family members, close friends or even neighbours know about the situation.